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    At Chaitanya Raj, we heal mind and body through Hypnotherapy (Past Life Regression Therapy, Age Regression, Ego State Therapy, various Behavior Modification Psychotherapies ), Yoga, Pranayam & Meditation

    -by Lieutenant Colonel Rajesh Sharma (Retd)

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    Dealing with Aggressive People

    1 month ago · · 0 comments

    Dealing with Aggressive People

    What is Aggression

    The word aggression is used to specify the behaviour of others and may be even for ourselves. We say that individuals are aggressive if they shout at or hit one another, they smash their fists on the table or wall in disappointment. Also, some people deliberately speed up while driving which increases the risk of collision. This is either motivated by impatience, annoyance, hostility, or an attempt to save time.

    Some psychologists and therapists characterize aggression as conduct that is proposed to hurt another person who doesn’t wish to be hurt. Since it includes the impression of purpose, what resembles aggression according to one perspective may not look that way from another, and a similar unsafe conduct might be considered aggressive depending on the intent.

    For example, a rugby player who unintentionally breaks the arm of another player or a driver who inadvertently hits a passer-by would not by our definition be aggressive because in spite of the fact that harm was done, there was no aim to hurt.

    Since aggression is hard to characterize, psychologists, judges, and politicians, have invested a lot of energy attempting to figure out what ought to and ought not be viewed as aggression. Therefore, it means intentional harm is perceived as more unpleasant than unintentional harm, in any event, when the damages are identical. 

    Different types of Aggression

    Psychologists/therapists define “violence” as aggressive behaviour that has outrageous physical harm like injury or death as its objective. All violent acts like murder, attack, rape, and theft have an intent to cause extreme physical damage while slapping someone hard might be violent however calling individuals names would only be aggressive.

    Emotional or impulsive aggression

    Emotional or impulsive aggression refers to aggression that happens with just a limited quantity of thinking ahead or plan and not set primarily by impulsive feelings. This is mostly the result of extreme negative feelings an individual is going through, not leading to any good result.

    When “A” shouts at his beau or when the sports fan ransack stores and destroy vehicles around the stadium after their team loses a significant game are examples of most likely emotional aggression – it is rash and impulsive behaviour without giving it much thought.

    Instrumental or Cognitive aggression

    Instrumental or Cognitive aggression is intentional and arranged to acquire attention, monetary reward, or political power. A bully who hits a kid and takes her toys, a militant who kills common people to acquire political exposure, and an employed professional killer are examples of instrumental aggression

    Physical or non-physical aggression

    Hitting, kicking, wounding, or shooting are examples of physical aggression while non-physical aggression comprises gossiping, spreading rumours, bullying, yelling, screaming, turning individuals against other, reprimanding others behind their back and threatening to break up with partner if he/she does not obey.

    The adverse effects of physical aggression are visible whereas the non-physical aggression costs heavily to its victim. Like youngsters who are bullied show signs of depression, dejection, peer dismissal and nervousness in contrast with other children.

    In many cases, girls have tried to commit suicide or indulge in smoking or drinking as the non-physical aggression makes them feel more ‘pitiful’ and ‘terrible’ than physical aggression.

    How to deal with aggressive people?

    Here are a few things to remember whenever you are dealing with aggressive individuals:

    Resist the urge to panic and stay calm

    Irrefutably the main thing to do when managing somebody who is being aggressive to you is to be quiet and grounded. If you are worried, irate, and ready to fight it out with them, then, at that point we’re unquestionably not going to gain any sort of headway.

    As the well-known saying goes, “You can’t retaliate in the same way.” So, we must be certain that we are quiet and prepared to straightforwardly examine the issue. This won’t just help you by having the option to poise, however it will likewise help the other individual quiet down too.

    Feel for the other individual

    At the point when someone else is being somewhat aggressive, usually, this is on the grounds that they’re anxious. Possibly they have a ton of work on their plate that is causing them to feel overpowered. Possibly they are low on rest, or they haven’t had lunch that day.

    Possibly they are disappointed from managing the insane traffic that they were simply in and haven’t got an opportunity to “wind down” from that yet. Understanding this will assist us with being more empathetic in any of our correspondences with them about the issue.

    Share your concern with the other individual

    Consequently, remember that, since they are anxious, all things considered, the individual isn’t intentionally mindful of what he/she is doing. Almost certainly, they are basically following up on autopilot and have no clue about the thing they are doing. Instead of saying “shut up and listen to me”, offer a sympathetic expression which shows you are genuinely worried.

    This will assist with taking them out of this spot of being uninformed of themselves and be more cognizant over the thing they are doing. Therefore, it can assist the individual with being available to hearing whatever you say. Then, you might get a chance to communicate your concern by saying something like, ” I’m sorry but attempting to say something and it appears as though you are not allowing me to talk” or, “I am sorry for how you are feeling now, can I say something?”

    Introspect

    Are their times when you are also aggressive? Indeed, even the touchiest, calm, and kind individuals can be aggressive when under pressure. Make certain to get some information about how your conduct impacts them also.

    Talk about it

    Depending upon the sort of relationship (for example, if this aggressive individual is significant in your life like a love interest, a companion, or relative), then, it is good to have a conversation about their aggressive conduct. Possibly you can both go to an understanding about what the other individual does when one of you is acting sort of aggressive.

    It is possible that you choose to give one of you a caring reminder by saying, “You’re doing it once more” or by giving them a tap on the shoulder or holding hand to tell them that they are doing it.

    By discussing it and settling on a concurrence with the other individual, you permit you two to be more cherishing towards one another and you permit the relationship to deepen.

    How can Hypnotherapy help to deal with aggression?

    You may have a colleague or your partner who is aggressive towards you. You can help them take care of their emotions through Hypnotherapy or else it can prompt physical and mental health issues with them.

    The hypnotherapist will aim to understand what triggers aggression in you. Usually, it originates from our past encounters which shape our behaviour and belief system. Along these lines, while you might think someone else or circumstance is causing your displeasure, it might very much come from yourself.

    When you are relaxed and feel secured, your hypnotherapist will help you identify your triggers. You will be asked to feel the sentiments, not to pursue them away but rather ‘watch them’ and afterwards let them disintegrate.

    The therapist also works towards changing it both at the conscious and sub conscious level by using relaxation techniques and suggestions where these feelings no more dominate you.

    How to stop ‘Negative Thoughts’

    2 months ago · · 0 comments

    How to stop ‘Negative Thoughts’

    What are Negative Thoughts?

    Nothing good ever happens to me, he/ she doesn’t love me, I can never lose weight, I am not good enough, I will never find love, I can never make enough money…..all these are negative thoughts — unpleasant, tension creating mental constructs mostly grounded in past regrets or fears about what’s to come.

    It is a pattern of thinking negatively about oneself and the surroundings. Who hasn’t experienced them every once in a while? Most people try to stop these thoughts by, well… attempting to stop them. They try to suppress them or ignore them. I suppose you realize that doesn’t work. And, what you resist, always persists.

    All of us have an inner critic. A negative thought is something that most of us experience every now and then, and it comes in numerous forms. It creates huge pressure on our body, our psyche, our life, and our friends and family.

    Internally we keep exchanging thoughts that restrict our ability to trust in ourselves and our own abilities and to arrive at our potential. This also reduces our capacity to roll out improvements in our day-to-day life, lose self-confidence, eventually creating stress and hindering our growth.

    Different types of Negative Thoughts

    1. Constantly thinking, ’I am helpless, and I have no control’. The feeling of helplessness leads to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
    2. Continuously fearing illness or death. ‘I am going to fall sick’, by telling this to yourself again and again, you are increasing the chances of falling sick.
    3. Feeling unloved and unappreciated especially when we have a disagreement with our partner. One keeps thinking that ‘he/she does not love me’ and how poorly he/she was treated leading to emotional insecurity, thus, jeopardizing the relationship.
    4. When one comes across challenges and difficult tasks, they start feeling they are not capable or strong enough to deal with it and this negative thought keeps them away from being successful.
    5. At the point when you are overweight, the thoughts of everything necessary to lose the weight feels outlandish. Discovering the energy and inspiration to work out, change your eating routine, and be steady and restrained nearly doesn’t appear to be great and achievable. And, one says, ‘I will never be able to lose weight’. Now all the negative thoughts are making it significantly harder to move towards good health.
    6. There are times when we all feel we are not good enough every now and then, but then these thoughts of low self-worth are consistent, it leaves a different impression on others. Your absence of trust in yourself guarantees that others will not be certain about your abilities or drawn to you.

    How can Negative Thoughts affect us?

    Our thoughts control us and if they are negative, it increases the risk of mental health problems. We may lack motivation, feel helpless, we may not be able to see the opportunities and how we can capitalize on them. We start telling ourselves, we can’t do it, and the more we tell ourselves this we start believing it.

    This limits our thinking, our behavior changes. If not addressed well, it can lead to depression and a feeling of insecurity. In this scenario, ‘playful’ or ‘constructive’ criticism may also take a toll on us.

    Tips on releasing Negative Thoughts and regaining control of your thoughts

    While it’s easy to say replace negative thoughts with thoughts that make you feel better. One can also share their feelings with loved ones, and this helps in keeping those thoughts in perspective.

    We can also do small things to pamper ourselves like getting a new haircut or taking an off from work and playing with kids or be with friends. Further, one can also write down the thoughts rather than think about it and write daily affirmations too.

    Try some of these ideas and track down the one that turns out best for you. Individuals are unique and that is the reason we have various answers for things.

    Make a move

    Many times, negative thoughts are helpful in making you aware that there is something in your life that requires immediate attention: something needs to change. Ordinarily, when you make a move on whatever that is, the negative thoughts die down.

    In case there is an issue in your life that feels unsettled—the separation with the ex; a relationship with a relative; a terrible circumstance at work where you believed you might have done another way—these are the sorts of irritating issues that our mind will turn on trying to attempt to make the last goal and close the loop.

    Heal the past

    The issue can be that these events relate to our past and since there’s no changing the past, it’s basically impossible to close the loop. So, these thoughts are aimless (other than to disturb the hell out of you). However, there are approaches to close those open loops from the past.

    Forgiveness is an amazing one and only requires you, not the other individual. What’s more, obviously as you’ve heard, forgiveness isn’t disregarding the other individual’s conduct, yet about moving past the suffering.

    If you resist forgiveness, in that case, instead of saying ‘I forgive that person,’ says ‘I release that person’ and the pain they caused me. This helps you live in the present.

    Focused distraction

    Taking off your mind from the negative thoughts can divert you. The thought is that in the long run, your mind will get on another track, discover different things to zero in on, and just let negative thoughts fade away naturally.

    Focusing on one thing helps rather than letting your mind wander. Focusing on one thing or selective focus is what hypnosis is all about. Your hobbies like painting, tying flies for fishing involves great focus.

    Getting engrossed in an extraordinary book, film, or music which has immense mood and thought-changing abilities since it influences your brain waves. Or quit wasting time and do some self-hypnosis.

    Meditation

    Like Hypnosis, meditation changes the brainwave state. It additionally prepares your mind and your brain to hold a delicate focal point of attention, which creates a calm mind and fewer thoughts.

    Meditating consistently is advantageous for both body and mind. Perhaps the most widely recognized disappointments we hear from individuals is that they’ve “attempted” to meditate and it “simply didn’t work for them,” however upon additional conversation they had poor or practically no guidance.

    It is an ability and there is a whole other world to it than simply shutting your eyes, zeroing in on your breath, and “making an effort not to think.” If you attempted meditation previously and didn’t find it effective, help yourself out and track down a decent meditation instructor in your area and try it out with appropriate guidance. Chaitanyaraj conducts weekly group workshops to help you meditate

    A proven way to overcome repeated negative thoughts – Hypnosis

    One does not have to live with negative thoughts forever. We can begin to make a psychological shift quickly to help our thoughts become more certain. And, to be able to do this, the foremost thing is to understand from where does this pattern of negative thoughts comes from….Generally, they are manifested from past negative events or experiences.

    Both clinical and non-clinical investigations have discovered the advantages of hypnotherapy to be wide-ranging from addressing several mental, emotional, and physical problems. – including anxiety, depression, insomnia, and panic attacks – to easing the symptoms of physical conditions, such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and eczema.

    Hypnosis also helps to get rid of any fear, eases pain from trauma and abuse, opens up instincts, streamlines decision-making, and creates more confidence, balance and brings calmness in daily life.

    Similarly, hypnotherapy can offer transformative changes in people who think negatively. The therapist takes you to a trance-like state, where breathing turns increasingly slow, the pulse rate drops and the metabolic rate falls. This helps us access the unconscious mind to turn off negative behavior patterns and beliefs forever, replacing them with a positive attitude.

    You can look for a hypnotherapist locally to do a one-on-one session. If you choose to work directly with me through my online or in-office sessions, then you can request an appointment from here: https://chaitanyaraj.com/contact/

    Happy Thoughts to you.

    Aversion to Sex

    9 months ago · · 0 comments

    Aversion to Sex

    “I love my husband but I hate having sex!”

    SITUATION: Shubha*, a senior IT professional, was facing trouble in her marriage. Married to Kamlesh* for over 3 years, she made every effort to keep him happy. But despite loving him a lot, she resisted any intimacy or sex with her husband. This left him dissatisfied and often resulted in fights. It was after one such fight that she approached me for counselling.

    Sitting in my office that day, Shubha seemed awkward. She fidgeted in her seat and appeared less than confident. Her clothes, though formal work wear, seemed ill-fitting and a dress size too small. Her eyes moistened as she confided in me, “Kamlesh has threatened to leave me. He says I don’t cooperate with him in bed and this leaves him dissatisfied. I love my husband a lot and don’t want this marriage to break. What is wrong with me? Please help.”

    I could see that something deep within her subconscious was lowering her self-confidence and prevented Shubha from enjoying sex with her husband. I asked her whether she had consulted a sexologist to find out if there was some medical problem in her or her husband. She told me that she had consulted many doctors but pathologically there was no problem. Thinking, perhaps hypnotherapy would provide an answer. I advised her to try Hypnotherapy as a treatment and clarified how it works without the use of any drugs or medicines. She agreed.

    TREATMENT: In the 1st session, I induced Hypnosis in Shubha by deep breathing and breath watching. Then Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) was done to deepen the trance and to relax and calm her. She was taught to do the same herself which she quickly learnt for self-relaxation.

    DEEP-ROOTED CAUSE REVEALED: Over the next 2-3 sessions of Hypnotherapy, she was guided back in time to incidents in her past that had affected her deeply, using Age-Regression for exploration of the Subconscious. She recalled an incident in college when her then-boyfriend had slapped her in public over some trivial issue. On gentle prompting, Shubha revealed how that made her feel. “I feel humiliated and intimidated.”

    She also recalled another incident when she was 8, how she was called fat by her classmates and made to feel ugly. She felt inadequate and humiliated by this body shaming in public.

    SOLUTION: While under the state of hypnosis, I suggested to Shubha that she should forgive her ex-boyfriend for slapping her. Notably, it was equally important that she forgive herself for choosing such a boyfriend. She was also advised to forgive her classmates from Grade 3 for making fun of her saying that children and some immature people sometimes do and say things unknowingly without realising how it would affect others. She was given a way to signal her acceptance of this suggestion by signalling “Yes” with any of her fingers, while under the state of hypnosis. This gave her a feeling of being in control of the situation and she signalled her consent to forgive by raising index finger.

    RESULT: On coming out of hypnosis, Shubha felt greatly relieved, “as if a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders!”. Over time, she regained her self-confidence over her looks and body image and no longer avoided sex and intimacy with her husband. She also did well at work.

    HOW HYPNOTHERAPY WORKS: While it is difficult to genuinely forgive someone when fully conscious, under a hypnotic state the subconscious mind takes over and is more receptive to suggestions for new ways of perception and behaviour. Over a few sessions, cognitive restructuring takes place and it becomes possible to forgive past slights and form new positive associations and memories.

    #patientdiaries #sexualaversion #sexualaversiondisorder #casestudies

    INNOCENT DEVILS

    11 months ago · · 1 comment

    INNOCENT DEVILS

    Most of the physical problems have underlying mental causes, and very few people understand the need for psychological or hypnotherapeutic help. Hypnotherapy sounds mysterious to people with little or no knowledge of it. The results achieved in treating some problems are astonishing and unbelievable.

     I am encouraged to share a case of a 26 year old married woman Ms Tina ( real name changed) who was medically fit, yet unable to become intimate with her husband even after two years of marriage. In psychological and medical term it is called ‘SEXUAL AVERSION DISORDER’ (SAD).

    She confided that although she loved her husband but was unable to become physically intimate with him.  Her inability to bring marital bliss to her husband was causing frustration, anxiety, stress and lack of self confidence.

    With this as background I started the hypnotherapy sessions. During session while in trance, she regressed to an incident in her college first year, in which her erstwhile boyfriend slapped her in front of other college students over some trivial issue.  She was asked to narrate her feeling during this incident.  She whispered “I feel insulted, guilty and intimidated”.

    It was easy to understand that this past incident was one of causes for her present day problems. Her subconscious mind was accessed and made to understand that forgiveness is the virtue of powerful. This could have happened to anyone and therefore she should forgive her erstwhile boy friend for his behavior and herself also, for getting into a relationship with this boy. After coming out of trance she said that she was feeling very light as if some burden was taken off from her chest and shoulders. This was just the beginning of a breakthrough.

    The reason I have named this case INNOCENT DEVIL and how her life changed will continue in my next blog. Till then be safe…

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